{"id":156,"date":"2013-11-12T11:46:25","date_gmt":"2013-11-12T16:46:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/buddy.brannan.name\/blog\/?p=156"},"modified":"2013-11-12T11:46:25","modified_gmt":"2013-11-12T16:46:25","slug":"rebuttal-to-things-guys-always-lie-about","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/buddy.brannan.name\/blog\/2013\/11\/rebuttal-to-things-guys-always-lie-about\/","title":{"rendered":"Rebuttal to Things Guys Always Lie About"},"content":{"rendered":"

I got this article off Twitter: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Things Guys Always Lie About\u00e2\u20ac\u009d.<\/a> Well, the title should have tipped me off, because when something says \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Always\u00e2\u20ac\u009d or \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Never\u00e2\u20ac\u009d, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s usually just a thing to draw you in. I guess it works, because, even knowing this, I clicked the link anyway. Predictably, I have issues. Here are my reactions as I read them; I already have issues with the first three.<\/p>\n

15) Strippers don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t do anything for me. Well\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6OK, so why would you go see them then? I actually think she\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s got a point on this one. Except, well, strippers really don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t do anything for me. Mostly because, well, you can look but you can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t touch. Ah well. Next?<\/p>\n

14) The dreaded question: Does this make me look fat? That this question is on the list at all is totally, completely unfair. As the author rightly points out, we can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t win on this one. Because if it does and we say so, we get in trouble. If it does and we lie, well, we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re lying. If it doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t and we say so, we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re suspected of lying. Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t ask this one. ever. For the record, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll just probably say, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Hell if I know.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d So I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m safe. But still. Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t ask. Ever.<\/p>\n

13) I never view adult web sites. Well, I actually don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t. Would I if I could? Maybe. Do I read the occasional steamy story? Damn skippy! But mostly to laugh at them, although, admittedly, not always. <\/p>\n

12) I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m an integral member of my company. I can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t even bullshit a resume, so the likelihood I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d try to impress anyone with what I do for a living, or how much sway\/importance\/clout I have at my place of employ is pretty low. I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know how common this really is, but I can tell you right off that it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not my thing at all. <\/p>\n

11) I love you too. See, the biggest problem I have with this kind of article is this right here. They make guys all look like massive dicks. True, some are. Maybe a lot are. Maybe a lot just say that to get into a woman\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s panties, or because they want to avoid conflict (and I suspect many if not most women would expect the former more than the latter). But it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not always so, and I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m really kind of offended at the assertion that men always lie about this. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s another one of those things that we just can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t win on. You know, men supposedly don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t express emotions well. True, some don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t. But if one of us does, he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s lying because, you know, men only want one thing. Right? No. Not right at all. Next?<\/p>\n

10) I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m 6\u00e2\u20ac\u21222\u00e2\u20ac\u009d. See, I just don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t understand this one. Lying about your physical appearance, either by adding height or subtracting weight or whatever just seems kinda stupid to me. If you never plan on meeting the person, I guess you can keep up the charade, but if you ever do meet, the jig is up, and you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re exposed for being a schmuck. This is what you do when you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re 14. This is not what you do when you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re a grown up. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s also not the exclusive purview of males. Sorry, just sayin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122. <\/p>\n

9) I swear that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the number of people I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve been with. Yeah, what she says here. But really, why would you ask that in the first place? What, do you want a list? You wanna compare notes? I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t get it. <\/p>\n

8) Of course I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t think (of insert your friend\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s name) like that. Can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t win, but seriously, first, why are you asking? Are you really that insecure? Also though, I think maybe there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a way for him to express that he find someone else attractive, but that doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t mean he’s going to A) do something about that, or B) that it really matters anyway, because he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s with you and not the person about whom you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re inquiring. Well, unless he is, but then you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve got bigger problems. <\/p>\n

7) I have so many interests. Again, offensive to the max. Are you saying that men are just super one-dimensional beings who just are interested in TV and farting? Maybe some are, but some aren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t. It will become pretty clear whether a guy\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s interests go beyond TV and farting, but to assume he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s lying if he says that they do is kind of crappy on your part. Why bother then? Now excuse me, because there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s this TV show I need to watch. Oh man, that was a good one. I wonder what would happen if I lit it? <\/p>\n

6) I swear I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m 23. Yep. Not just limited to the guys. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m just a freak of nature I guess, because I have no problem with my age. Hell, I worked hard to get here, and I earned every year, every gray hair, all of it. Would I want to be young again? Hell no! I already did that once. It was a pain in the ass some ways\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6why repeat it?<\/p>\n

5) Oh honey, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m huge. Umm. Why? Seriously, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s like the height thing. And that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s all I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve got to say about that.<\/p>\n

4) Nothing\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s wrong, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m fine. Again, not exclusive to the guys. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve been on the receiving end of that a time or two in my life, as well as being on the other end. Sometimes, though, it isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t that we don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want to talk about it, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s just that right then isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t a great time. Sometimes I really don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know what\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s wrong, or how to express it, or especially how to express it in 25 words or less. Maybe we should all learn to say \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll talk to you about it later\u00e2\u20ac\u009d, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Now isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t a great time\u00e2\u20ac\u009d, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I really don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know\u00e2\u20ac\u009d, or something more appropriate? But this really isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t just the guys, and we all know that 68.5% of statistics are made-up on the spot anyway.<\/p>\n

3) I can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t wait to visit your parents this weekend. I really can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t imagine saying this. That is all.<\/p>\n

2) I love working out. Umm. Yeah. And also sitting on the sofa with the TV and farting. Yes. Well. Which is it? The proof, as they say, is in the pudding. Or the\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6whatever it is that people eat that isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t pudding. I was about to say, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153What, are we 15?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d, but I know that there awesome women who emphatically would answer \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Yes!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d to this question. <\/p>\n

1) We\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll talk about it later. See the one a couple of paragraphs ago. So maybe some people would say that this is tied to that. The thing is, if I say \u00e2\u20ac\u0153We\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll talk about it later\u00e2\u20ac\u009d, I probably mean that at the time. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Later\u00e2\u20ac\u009d may just not come because I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll forget. I have a pretty short attention span. But if I say \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Later\u00e2\u20ac\u009d, I, at least, generally mean that and not \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Screw you, go away, I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want to talk about it.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d If I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want to talk about something, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll generally say that. <\/p>\n

I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d like to see the companion \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Things Women Always Lie About\u00e2\u20ac\u009d piece.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I got this article off Twitter: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Things Guys Always Lie About\u00e2\u20ac\u009d. Well, the title should have tipped me off, because when something says \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Always\u00e2\u20ac\u009d or \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Never\u00e2\u20ac\u009d, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s usually just a thing to draw you in. I guess it works, because, even knowing this, I clicked the link anyway. Predictably, I have issues. Here are my […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[88,89,31],"class_list":["post-156","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-guys","tag-life","tag-opinion-2"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/buddy.brannan.name\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/156","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/buddy.brannan.name\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/buddy.brannan.name\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buddy.brannan.name\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buddy.brannan.name\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=156"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/buddy.brannan.name\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/156\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":157,"href":"https:\/\/buddy.brannan.name\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/156\/revisions\/157"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/buddy.brannan.name\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=156"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buddy.brannan.name\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=156"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buddy.brannan.name\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=156"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}