Hi again,
Well...today was much better.
I don't know if it's a guy thing, or a people thing, or just a me thing, but it always seems like I don't quite know what to do with strong emotions. What I mean is...well, they just sort of slam into me without any warning and I don't know I'm having them until I start, well, having them. Yesterday when I was talking to melanie about the whole retirement issue, I thought I was pretty well together. I had talked to a coworker (from my training class) a little bit and that was OK, but when I mentioned to Melanie that she'd asked me about getting another dog, i just burst into tears with absolutely no warning at all. I guess that's normal, but it still surprised me. It was pretty well downhill from there, I guess.
Today is better though. Karl has given me one more day at least. I even see a bit of his old enthusiasm. He's slowing of course, but his work today was absolutely perfect. We even went to the bank to deposit my peanuts-for-paycheck and to the Eckerd because we were completely out of Coke....a real tragedy, that...and he found all the doors, all the counters, all the sidewalks, and made his way in and out without a hitch. It sure felt good, I can tell you that.
But as I said yesterday...it's just one day at a time. I'll take the good days as I get them. Maybe it'll stretch into months. Maybe it'll end next week--or tomorrow. But I'll be thankful for each day that we are working together, and I'll know when Karl decides to hang up his harness, he's given me the greatest thing he could ever have....his pure doggie love. (Mushy? Yeechk. ...) Anyway, I expect there will be days he won't want to work and others he will...it's all up to him.
But I am thankful for today.